i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
