You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Randomize
