The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
