she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
