Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
