you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Randomize
