just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
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