I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
why is half of my head shaved?
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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