This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
