Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
Randomize
