He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
