I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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