So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
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