I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
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