arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
I lost the right to judge tonight
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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