Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Randomize
