Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
