JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
Randomize
