Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
