handjob tips. give me some.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
