So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
