My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Randomize
