Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
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