I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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