So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
