i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
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