im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
