Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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