oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
