question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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