i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
