we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Drake has all the answers
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Randomize
