Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
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