My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
