Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
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