Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
