Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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