we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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