were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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