Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
