I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Mom said you looked used
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Randomize
