I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
