she was so not down for the gang bang
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Randomize
