That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
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