i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
I wish there were birth control emojis
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
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