Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize
