Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
