Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
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