Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
is that a dick in a sweater?
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Randomize
