So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Randomize
