the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
You can't motorboat a personality
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
