i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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