If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
A bitchslap is in order.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
