I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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