Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
