...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Randomize
