the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
